I Will Never Love Again
by PieFilledTears
Summary: GerIta, Fluff with a bit of angst: When Germany is left alone to his thoughts and a crowded storage closet, he begins to wonder: after HRE went away to war, what happened to his Italy?


Today Germany's past had been haunting him, and he didn't know why. On top of that he had a horrible day with his boss, and now it was pouring rain as he ran up to his house's front door. Germany sighed as he pulled the door open and stepped onto the welcome mat.

_This day was terrible _Germany thought as hedragged himself down the hallway. He eventually collapsed onto the couch in his extremely clean and spacious living room. He slapped his hand over his eyes, and sighed. All day he could think of nothing but his childhood, back when he raged through Europe as the (mostly) Great Holy Roman Empire. But these were all bittersweet memories. They always reminded him of Italy, the first Italy… the one he had lost so many years ago.

'_The day I left it was a bright and sunny. I was ready to leave with my army to go and convert as many countries as I could. Nothing could stop me. Except, Italy. I never wanted to admit it, but I did love her. I would watch her cleaning Austria's house and paint pictures of her sleeping in my spare time. But I can never do that again. I'm leaving today and I will probably never return. _

'_Pull'a yourself together! You want greatness you have to work for it!' He scolded himself. Holy Rome took a deep breath and turned to leave. _

"_Wait! Holy Rome!" Holy Rome slowly turned to see Italy… she wanted him to stay… but I can't! Why can't she understand that!' _

"Ciao Germany!" Germany abruptly snapped back into reality to see the small Italian's face inches from his own. Germany quickly sat up and pushed the Brunettes face away. "Italy! I told you never to disturb me when I'm thinking!" Germany wasn't mad at him, but he kept his stone cold gaze on him.

"I'm so sorry Germany but I just wanted to tell you dinner is ready! I made the pasta sauce, extra special for you!" Italy said basically jumping with excitement.

Germany sighed. "I'm not hungry right now, Italy, go ahead and eat without me." Italy's smile faultered but turned happily towards the kitchen.

"Okay, but I'll keep some out for you later okay?" The Italian skipped away back to the kitchen.

Germany stretched against the back of the couch. He really didn't mean to snap at him like that. It's just the way he is, plus the fact that Germany could only really like one Italy. And he once knew the perfect Italy… But she's gone now. Ludwig got up slowly from his seat. Exercise always helped to clear his mind, rigorous activity. _Anything to get Italy off of his mind_.

He walked briskly down the hall towards his storage closet to get his equipment. Along the way, he happened to see Italy sitting at the small wooden table, eating his pasta and reading his country's newspaper. The smallest smile crept across Germany's lips. He had to admit, he did have some feelings for the young brunette. The way he always brightened up his day, his optimistic attitude just made life more worthwhile. But Germany knew that he could never give his love to him, because his heart was already stolen. He could never love again… _not until I find out what happened to you. _

All that he could assume was that something terrible had happened to his Italy that she had died in a war he didn't know about. Then this new Italy was born to take her place.

Germany walked faster down the hallway to his storage closet. He opened the creaky door to reveal a surplus of tank tops and sweatpants, plus some army boots and other junk. He really did have to clean this place up, it was the one place in his house he didn't regularly clean. Germany quickly selected a black shirt and green sweat pants, but he couldn't find his favorite sneakers.

His frustration grew as he sorted through the large pile of shoes searching for the pair he wanted. He was forced to crawl farther and farther back into the depths of the closet. But even when he had reached the boxes cluttered in the back of the closet he still hadn't found them.

Germany sighed. Nothing was going right today. He reached out to pull a few of the boxes away from the back wall when he noticed something leaning in the corner_. No_… it couldn't be.He had lost that so many years ago! He thought he had lost it, but how? Germany stared in awe at his discovery. He slowly reached out his hand; it shook slightly as he grasped its handle. He carefully pulled it out of its dark resting place. He held it out.

It was Italy's old push broom. HIS Italy's old push broom; the one that she had given him so long ago… the one that she had given him the day he left, the one that he had lost years ago.

His back hit the wall as he stumbled backwards. He held the push broom tightly in his hands, flashing back to the last time he had seen her. The broom was to remember her by, it was such a stupid gift to give, but I thought I would see her again one day.

Little did I know it would be too late.

_Why can't I see you again? It's so unfair. Life is unfair. _

He slowly slid down the wall, his knees no longer able to support him. He was angry at the world, at Italy, but mostly at himself. He had left her there to die alone when he could have protected her. Why? Why...

A shadow crossed his vision. He looked up to see Italy standing above him. He knelt down next to him, and stared at him. Germany's hands instinctively tightened around his broom. Ital'y head tilted in confusion as he stared at him, then the broom, and reached out tentatively to touch it. Germany immediately slapped his hand away. Italy yelped and pulled his hand away, but his eyes kept scanning the broom.

"Germany?" he said quietly, "why are you holding my old pushbroom?"

_"_What?" Germany was stunned, hurt even. How dare Italy claim this broom as his own!

"You! How dare you say this is yours! You weren't even born when I got this." Germany yelled at the smaller country. Yet Italy just continued to stare quizzically at the push broom.

"But… that is my old broom. I remember I used to clean Mr. Austria's house with it. I would sweep all day. But then, I gave it away… I gave this broom to my good friend" Italy took a shaky breath to steady himself, "his name was Holy Roman Empire. He was my best friend in the whole world, but one day he left for war. I didn't want him to go, but he had to, so I gave him this to remember me by." Italy said, he was smiling a little at the memories.

Germany stared aghast back at Italy, his brain couldn't process it. None of it made sense, but Italy knew every detail. But he's a boy, the Italy that gave him this was a girl, he was sure of it! "B-but Italy gave me this, she was a girl… a-and then she died… and I never saw her… again"Germany's thoughts became fuzzy, and he knew he was about to pass out. But he couldn't focus on that, only the fact that Italy was now clutching his arm, yelling his name. His last coherent thoughts before darkness swallowed him were that this can't be true. It couldn't be…

Germany awoke to find that he was in his own bed. How did I get here? _Wait, what happened?_ Then reality hit Germany like a train wreck.

_Italy… was his Italy?_ The blonde turned his head to the side to find Italy sitting crisscross on the mattress next to him. His head was resting on the backboard and it looked as if he were sleeping. Germany slowly sat up against the headboard and just looked at Italy, really looked at him. He did kind of look like his Italy… the hair curl, the red hair… but he just wasn't completely sure.

"Italy, wake up." Germany said quietly, shaking the Italians shoulder gently.

Italy's head snapped up. "Oh Germany your okay! I was so worried about you in the closet you just kind of passed out and I couldn't leave you there so I tried to carry you all the way here but I kinda dropped you once but it's ok now please don't hit me" Italy said in one breath.

"Italy… I have to ask you something."

"What is it?"

"Is it true that you gave that push broom to Holy Roman Empire right before he left for war?" Germany asked intensely. He held his breath waiting for Italy's answer.

Italy looked down self-consciously, " Yes I did, and I gave him a kiss, just for good luck." Germany nearly blacked out a second time at this statement. _ It is him. He knows about the kiss too. _

"Italy," Germany grabbed the Italian by the shoulders firmly, "I-I'm Holy Roman Empire. It's me." All of the blood had drained from Italy's face as he slowly lifted his hand to touch Germany's cheek. Germany placed his hand on top of Italy's. "But Italy… You were… I thought you were… a girl." Germany nearly choked on his words, worrying he'd offend him.

But Italy just smiled."Back then, everyone thought I was a girl, especially when Mr. Austria only bought me dresses, but as soon as my voice changed I started to look like a boy."

It all made sense now. Germany wrapped his arms around Italy and pulled him in to a close hug. Italy gasped at the sudden display of affection, but he wrapped his arms tightly around him.

All this time, and he was right here in front of me. All of the days he'd missed him and all he had to do was ask. A small tear traced down Germany's cheek as he embraced his lost Italy.

Italy felt a tear run down his cheek and pulled back just slightly to look at Germany. "Oh, you're crying, don't cry, this is a happy time!" Italy reached up to wipe away Germany's tear, and Germany could see that Italy was also on the verge of tears. "It's a happy time, because I've found my lost Holy Roman Empire." He said with a smile.

Germany gave a little smile. "And I have found my little lost Italy." He moved his hand up to the back of Italy's head and brought him closer until their lips interlocked. Italy pulled Germany even closer, and Germany could feel the brunette's tears streaming down his face, and he also noticed tears of happiness coming from him as well.

_I've found you. _


End file.
